Wednesday, October 17, 2007
My Favorite Place by Zach
My favorite place is my house for many reasons. One of the reasons is I get to sleep. The second reason is I get to play video games. I get to play any kind of game unless they are too violent. The third reason is I can talk to friends on the computer. I can send them e-mails on Hotmail. The fourth reason is I get to have a BBQ when my step-dad comes into town. He's gone most of the time because he is a truck-driver. When we have the BBQ my step-dad makes a really good sauce to put on the chicken, pork chops, bratwurst, and stake. The BBQ sauce tastes like BBQ sauce with a hot taste to it. He takes BBQ sauce and adds hot sauce to it. Then he puts the sauce on everything and puts it on the BBQ grill. The fifth reason is I get to watch TV. When I feel like watching something funny I watch Comedy Central. They have funny shows on this station. If I want to watch people doing something stupid I watch MTV2. They have a lot of shows that people do something stupid. This is why my house is my favorite place.
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Zach,
You included a lot of good reasons why your house is your favorite place. Next time instead of saying the first reason, the second reason, etc., use words like "another reason," "I also like," etc.
Also, next time try using a metaphor or similie. For example, "My step-dad's BBQ sauce is as good as . . ." or "My step-dad's BBQ sauce is as hot as . . ."
~ Ms. George
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