Thursday, October 25, 2007
Haunted House by Carolina
The house stood there silently in the woods. The ravens were waiting for someone to come. The sun hadn't hit the house for a long time. The plants stood there dying, wanting someone to come and help them. The rooms were completly full of darkness, no sign of light. There was no living thing there, only the birds.
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7 comments:
Carolina,
This is your best piece of writing. It is one of my favorite haunted house stories our class did. I liked that you said the house stood SILENTLY in the woods. Silently is a great word choice. I also like that you wrote that the sun hadn't hit the house for a long time. EXCELLENT JOB!!
~ Ms. George
That was very detailed, but a little to short.
We liked how you said "The sun hadn't hit the house for a long time."
by Zach
and WB
I like your story because, the way you said the rooms were completly full of darknss. I also like that you wrote sun hadn't hit the house for a long time. Good Job!!!
Mice
i liked it no changes
-chris
We really liked the details that you used like the rooms were completly full of darkness,no sign of light. We don't think you should add or change anything.
-Dulce & Diana
I really like your story because I like how you explained about the ravens but next time you should put waiting instead of wanting
_by Ramon.G.
Chris-
Next time you need to say specifically what you thought was good.
Mice, I mean Miche-
Next time double-check your spelling. At least your name should be spelled correctly.
~Ms. George
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